okay flat out.....im going to stop writing in this and stick to my Upsaid for a while... lets say that im going into hiatus for a little bit. but hey im not stopping my posts...im still updating my upsaid everyday...shoot me if i dont.
- posted by Frisko @ 00:46

 
Woohoo! Lightning!

Okay, back to summer projects.
- posted by Scooter @ 15:12

 
okay. i suppose its my turn now...

i was also greatly affected by what happened this past week. i can equally feel what Scooter must be feeling and then some.

i didn't really get to know Kaeli as well as i most certainly wanted to, but i knew she would have been a good friend, one of the best, nonetheless. i first met Kaeli, through her boyfriend Gary, in the most unusual way. i was coming into swim practice straight from school. i got dressed, slapped on some slacks and went out to meet gary and her. back then, i never really knew her at all, but i did hear alot about her around school. anyways, what i didn't notice was that i had my fly open. WIDE OPEN. well, i saw Kaeli smirking at Gary so i asked what happened. she just warned with a smile, " your fly's open, thats all. next time maybe you should check." and she ended it with a great laugh with Gary. as embarrased as i was, i tried to phase the moment by calling it the "new style". of course, it ended up with an even greater laugh from all of us. from then on, we always joked around when we had the chance to hang out, usually during swim meets.

there were alot to great things about this girl. she had the smile, the brains, a great family, and a great boyfriend.
she will be missed greatly.

when she died, i wasn't in the vicinity of vallejo. thanks Scooter for sending me and Nadine the news i also forgot to say. but i couldnt believe it when i heard it. she was a girl with a bright future. a very bright future. she was well prepared for the outside world, and its very tragic that this event had to take place so early in her wonderful life. i wasn't able to make it to the vigil or the viewing but i finally had the chance to mourn the loss at the memorial service, which was just yesterday. i took Nadine and Noelle to St. Paul's church with me and we pretty much couldn't believe how many people came. she had made a definite impact on numerous people. i also didn't realize that they were related to Kaeli. Teachers, Mr. Gross, and even the VJO juniors coach "Tuffy" came. all in all it was more emotional than i would have ever expected.

while reading Scooter's entry, i realize that we all can't just dwell on kaeli's death, but only grow on the impact that she has made in each and everyone of our lives. i swear, everyone who knows her has had an impact. i sure have. it was natural to her. it was easy for her to make friends. thats what made her so unique.

my heart goes out to Gary's family and Kaeli's family as well. R.I.P. Kaeli Amie DeWeese

now, to top things off for the past week, things only got worse. my grandmother also died last wednesday. so everythings been hectic
these past few days. ill post more about it later. getiing over one death is more than enough.
- posted by Frisko @ 11:24

 
I copied this from my other blog, and changed some stuff, but it's basically the same:

So much has happened and changed in a week.

Last week, my first friend died, so early in life. Her name is Kaeli Amie DeWeese. For those of you who don't "regularly" read this, she was run over by a car while setting up an annual Peddler's Fair for her church. At about 5:22am, as she was marking off vendor spaces, when a van driven by a 66-year old man ran through the intersection on his way to a kidney dialysis, hit and ran over her. She died about 40 minutes later at 6:00am. Yes, I'm being dry, but it's the way I'm going to put it.

I met Kaeli about a year and a half ago after a friend's birthday lunch at Chevy's. I saw her and introduced myself, and talked with her for a while. I was waiting for a to-go order of carnitas for my mom. We talked for a good while. She gave me a ride home, and I saw her around campus, and talked to her from time to time, mostly just a simple "hello". Sometimes I came to watch her soccer games, cheer for her. Now in my junior year, I talked to her more often, had enjoyable conversations, interesting ones, since we both were members of several clubs. I never did have a class with her, which was unfortunate. She was always nice, polite, and charming, and could brighten your day with a simple smile. She was also the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

Going to the candlelight vigil last Saturday, and her viewing yesterday, makes me realize how lucky I am to have gotten to know her. Her friends were loyal and true, comforting each other in this time of despair. She made good friends easily, which isn't easy to do.

It's so sad that this happened, and everyday I wish this was just a nightmare I'd wake up from. I cried, something that I haven't done in a long time. I think I've come to the conclusion that for the most part, I'm unemotional. Which is sad really. I don't know why, is it because of martial arts training? Not letting your opponent see any weakness, by showing emotion. Whatever the reason, I wish I could cry more in some aspects.

One thing I should, and everyone who reads this, and knew Kaeli personally, is to remember all the good times, and keep her memory close to you. Don't forget her, but don't dwell on her death. She wouldn't want to see us sad and crying. She was always and upbeat and outgoing, bright and optomistic person.

She had everything going for her: great family, friends, boyfriend, bright future at UC Davis, the prospect of becoming a veterinarian. People admired and loved her.

Unfortunately, these kind of tragedies happen to people everyday. Some people say it was her time to go, join her father, etc. Many believe it's just fate, and it was all planned out in the beginning, also known as predestination. I don't know what to believe. I would like to believe that she's in good hands, with God, and reunited with her father, looking down upon us. Perhaps guiding us.

I don't know what else to write, perhaps I'll edit this later, but right now, I'm just emptying what I've been thinking of writing, pouring my heart out. Crying out loud on the inside, knowing that she's gone, and my life is altered in some way.

If you've taken the time to read this, I thank you and appreciate it.

My condolences go out to the DeWeese and Quach families, may they get through this without everlasting pain.

Rest In Peace, Kaeli DeWeese. Know that we will carry you in our hearts and memories forever.
- posted by Scooter @ 20:50

 
losing a friend puts many things in perspective. its just very unfortunate how we can lose friends we see often in an instant.


R.E.A.L. finals list last weekend:

Sat.: 6th place timed finals 200 back 2:49.45
7th place finals 200 IM 2:25.34
7th place finals 100 Free 55.26

Sun.: 6th place timed finals 200 Free 2:07.23
6th place finals 100 Back 1:06.56
4th place finals 50 Free 25.95

oh yeah whats great is that i score the 6th most points over all 17-18 boys. i was having alot of good productive fun. other than that...what happened recently is very unfortunate. i still cant believe it myself.

- posted by Frisko @ 23:02

 
I thought this might be appropriate for the event that took place recently:

ARE YOU A REASON, A SEASON, OR A LIFETIME?
Pay attention to what you read. After you read this, you will know the reason it was sent to you! People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON. It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life.
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
And dance like no one is watching.
- posted by Scooter @ 14:02

 
this is for me and you scooter. enjoy buddy. >

It’s amazing that assholes can get girls. Actually, now that I think of it, it’s not that amazing. They are assholes at heart, but to meet girls they lavish their undying love. IT’S A CHARADE. They act nice, friendly, and they listen… until they get into what they’re after. Their prey thinks they are in love with them, however when they realize what assholes their predators really are, they pretend like the asshole is really nice inside. The girl tries to change the asshole into a nice guy, but assholes will always be assholes. She gets upset and goes to the nice guy to complain about the asshole. But she claims to love the asshole… now this is where the theory begins. She doesn’t want to look like she is easy so she wont dump the asshole right away, instead she will stay with the asshole. Girls are idiots. They don’t realize that the nice guy has been there all along. He never had to pretend to be a good guy to get girls because he is naturally like that. However, girls don’t see it for some reason or another. They look at the nice guy as a friend, a trusted companion to whom they can tell their sad story to about their asshole boyfriend. But the nice guy isn’t THAT naïve. He was trying to score with the girl he listens to all along. The problem is that since he is a nice guy he keeps listening. Since girls get attached to things that pay attention to them, they think of the nice guy as a friend. A FRIEND. They don’t say, “Oh he’s hot” or “I want to have his children” about the nice guy, they just want the emotional support. When they get the emotional support from the nice guy, they don’t need it from the asshole. The nice guy gets the shit end of the stick while the asshole gets all the action. I am starting to wonder if being a nice guy is really the route to take to get action… I have been down this path for all of my post-pubescent life and it has gotten me NOWHERE… at least not in the women department. Perhaps another reason why girls fall for the asshole is because assholes ignore the girl they are with. The women wonder, “Why isn’t he paying attention to me?” so they explore why. They poke and prod and get closer to the asshole. They start to get easier with each attempt to get closer. The asshole finally says, “I’ve let this beauty dangle long enough, time to boat this bass”. It is then he puts on his charade and the girl feels like she has won him… even thought all she has won is an asshole. Once you have gone down the path as a nice guy or a “listener” you can’t turn back. The girl will always go after the assholes because there are always nice guys there to listen. Once you realize that you are a “listener” you cant do anything about it… just pack up and close shop. There is no way you will get into her pants… ever. There is and never will be a situation where the nice guy will get the girl he has a crush on. It just doesn’t work like that. The girl wont “come to her senses” and realize what an asshole her boyfriend is like in the movies… instead she will just go after another asshole, and unless you stop being a nice guy, she will never go after you. Women complain that there are no nice guys in the world. Right. They are obviously not looking hard enough because there are nice guys EVERYWHERE!!!! Girls aren’t looking for nice guys… they say they are but they’re not. They are looking for the perfect asshole, but there is NO SUCH THING as the perfect asshole. All in all, the nice guy gets the shaft. To all the girls out there with boyfriends that don’t treat you with respect, that don’t listen to you, and that don’t care about you I say this; look next to you. The guy that has been standing next to you the whole time is the guy you have been looking for. He is what you want your asshole to be like. He knows more about you than you know about yourself… because he has listened to it all.
- posted by Frisko @ 00:34

 
>>just one of those M O O D S that you can't get out of

>LIFE IN GENERAL... OR SOMETHING CLOSE TO IT.
I haven't written much lately. I guess I've been very busy with my 2 jobs. Yup. Guess that's it. Or maybe it's because lately, I've felt... out of it. Like life is such an obligation and that I really can't do anything but live it out 'til I'm finished. I think I've written here last Saturday about getting my belly button pierced, but it didn't really upload to the online journal. I'm thinkin' 'bout starting up a webpage, hosted by my one of my best friends G I N A. She already created a H O M E for me, but I've yet to start creating and doin' all that HTML crap. I feel dead.

>LOVE LIFE... //u p d a t e s//
This division of my life is currently and will probably always be NON-EXISTANT. And if you ask me, I really don't give a care. I've developed a theory on this "boyfriend-girlfriend" thing:

Before "going out" you have to spend quite some time getting to know this person that you're supposedly gonna spend MORE time with AFTER getting to know them. Then after you start going OUT with that person, you spend most of your day WITH that person and also most of your money (I'm not some cheap skate or whatever, it's just that money is also a factor in a relationship.) Then every time your anniversary rolls around, which is about every month (which happens to be like a girl's period... bwahaha) you spend EXTRA money and EXTRA time on that person. Then after you get tired of each other, which is about 3 months after you first started going out with that person, you break up, mope, and cry and cry to help you get through it. You might as well go out and buy an outfit or some shoes or save up for college -- at least that will get you SOMEWHERE in life, whereas relationships go around in circles.

[This is just what I experienced first-hand. Maybe I'm just jaded or cynical... But this is what I seriously think about relationships. This situation always happens to me. I guess this is the reason why I find no need for a boyfriend right now. Maybe I'll change my viewpoint on this, which is highly unlikely. I guess I'll just go around and wait for love to find me, if it's meant to be. Whatever... And I just recently experienced that you don't have to be in a relationship to get hurt, you can still be single and get hurt as much as it does while you're IN a relationship.]

>WORKING...
(Another reason as to why I can't find time for ANYTHING, especially a relationship.) Well I've finally worked 8 hours at McDonalds... yesterday. Yup. And I'm still a slave to the pool. Yup. The last last time I worked at McDonalds, Melvin, Mark, Jerick, Daryl, and Dingaling visited me. (Oh yeh, congratulations to my TWIX for getting his license!!) kewl deal, eh? Yup. Melvin paid me in frickin' COINS for his food. GAHD. Hah, but its okay, I got good math skills now that I can count change hecka good now. heh. I like working at McDonalds, it's fun because there's always something to keep me amused. Yup yup.

At Cunningham, I'm always stuck with the darn 4/5 year olds. BLAH... =P. I used to like teaching them, but now, they're just snotty-nosed, crying, "i want my mommy" BRATS. URgh. I despise those kids. But one time there WAS this 4/5 year old class that I hecka enjoyed teaching, it was Matt's class, I was subbing for him. They were hecka good swimmers. THey could do front floats and back floats all by themselves without any HELP! Aahha. And one of those kids even said, "miss kantrina (<- how the kid said it), i laa you." haha, tell me that's not adorable. haha. These are my last two weeks at Cunningham Pool... The guard dinner is comin' up pretty soon... frickin' Spaghetti Factory... frickin' GVRD budget... BLAH!!!!

Anyway... g2g... Buh byes.
- posted by katrina @ 20:54